yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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