Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize