Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.

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(517): View more from Michigan

My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?

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(818): View more from California

My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club

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(740): View more from Ohio

I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight

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(513): View more from Ohio

You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.

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