She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize