SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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