i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
