Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
