In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
