even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
