so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
