you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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