We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
