WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
