Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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