That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
