just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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