dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The uberlube is also flammable
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
