So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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