I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
