I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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