ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i think im in europe. pls send help
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
