i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
