Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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