yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize