i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
