I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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