I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
