I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
