Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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