I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
