Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize