Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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