thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
