You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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