And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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