Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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