Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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