just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize