I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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