Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
