can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
His hands were made for my vagina.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize