Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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