I just made out with a guy for $7.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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