haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
