just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
