do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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