wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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