worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
