Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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