i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
