home. puking in laundry basket.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
