My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize