what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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