Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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