I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
