Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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