How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So much rum. So many feels.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
