I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
