Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I would fuck him just for his dog
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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