I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
